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SOME COMMON COMPUTER ACRONYMS

(and what they really mean)

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN: It Still Does Nothing

APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit Losing Entity

SCSI: System Can't See It

DOS: Defective Operating System

DOS-II: Same as above, but we tried to fix it and the new version doesn't work any better than the old one.

BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM: I Blame Microsoft

DEC: Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM: Consumer Device--Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too

WWW: World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA: A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses

MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
and, best of all:

DOT-COM: Definitely Over Time--Completely Out of Money.