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You know Santa Claus is a hacker
when:
-You request an Office 2000 and you get a password cracker.
-You never send the E-mail with your requests and, anyway, you get exactly what
you ask for.
-At midnight, on Christmas Eve, the Three Kings web site was hacked.
-Without no aparent reason the reindeers were changed for "Bugs".
-You cant uninstall the screensaver of the reindeers singing a Xmas song, that
appears you while you are in the Internet.
-The icons in your PC now are chirstmas trees and candles, the sounds are xmas
songs and you only can see three colors: green, red and gold.
Physical and mental problems caused for the computers:
-60% of the users suffers from fractures in their legs caused by kicks given to
the wall when the PC shows a blue-screen error
-25% of the users suffers from neurologic problems caused by the "Unknown PCI
communication device detected" error
-15% of the users are cross-eyed for the "Flying Windows" screensaver
Laws of the internet connection
-Law of the speed
"The speed of the connection is the opposite of the one that you expect"
-First law of the connection
"If the line can be busy, it WILL be busy"
-Second law of the connection
"The line will be busy only when you are in a hurry"
-Law of the ISP (Internet Service Provider)
"Your ISP will never be the best"
-First law of the disconnection
"If you can be disconnected, you WILL be disconnected"
-Second law of the disconnection
"You always will be disconnected when you are able to download that
interesting thing"
Some other stuff...
-C:\> Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue...
-This message is Shareware! Send $25 to register
-Daddy, What is FORMATTING DRIVE C: 99% Completed?
-Big sale! Today, if you buy a Windows ME, we give you two reset buttons free!!!
-"I installed windows and it works great"- Pinoccio
-Error 1257: Press F19 to load Windows without problems...
You know your co-worker is a hacker when...
-Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill.
-Has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.
-When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex.
-Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
-Somehow gets HBO on their PC at work.
-Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeeez!" 295 times during the movie "The Net."
-Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.
-Their video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons.
-Instead of the "Welcome" voice on AOL, you overhear, "Good Morning, Mr./Mrs.
President."
-You hear them murmur, "Let's see you use that VISA card now, Professor
"I-Don't-Give-A's-In-Computer-Science!"
ERRORS OF WINDOWS MILLENIUMM
error 001: Windows havenīt enough memory, and it canīt remember what error is
error 002: Windows is working correctly. You must reboot your system
error 003: There is no error. Windows is driving you mad
error 004: Error on Windows error
error 005: Surprise error
error 006: Error without solution. You already installed Windows
error 007: Windows is angry because you installed Linux
error 008: Random error (just testing)
error 009: Windows canīt make an error, please wait...
error 010: Windows Milleniumm
SOME WINDOWS STUFF (POOR BILLY)
Do you know what is the best in Windows?... Neither do I
Since I installed Windows, my computer donīt understand me...
The future is Windows... Please do something!!!
if (%the_frogs_have_hair == true) { /msg $chan Windows is good}
The difference between Windows and a virus is that the virus is free...
You want a faster Windows? Throw it from the 22nd floor...
Norton Antivirus: "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"
Starting Windows..................Pray!
SYMPTHOMS THAT CAN INDICATE THAT YOU ARE A FRUSTRATED HACKER
You send your viruses with your personal E-Mail address
Your best computer virus is worldly called "All the things that a hacker
shouldnīt do"
The only software that you could crack was "Tetris"
The FBI and the CIA gave u a prize for your constancy
You send 1,000,000 mails warning that you created a deadly virus
You made a computer Joke, and you canīt uninstall it
Your last virus had your name... and surname
BYE (HAPPY HOLYDAYS!)
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